Room Service in Asia

A telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and room service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review... (skall läsas högt och på dålig engelska med asiatisk brytning.)

Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees"
Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialled room service"

Room Service: "Rye... Ruin sorbees... morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
Guest: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs"

Room Service: "Ow July den?"
Guest: "What??"

Room Service: "Ow July den?... pry, boy, pooch?"
Guest: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

Room Service: "Ow July dee bayhcem... crease?"
Guest: "Crisp will be fine"

Room Service: "Hokay. An San tos?"
Guest: "What?"

Room Service: "San tos. July San tos?"
Guest: "I don't think so"

Room Service: "No? Judo one toes??"
Guest: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means."

Room Service: "Toes! toes!... why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?"
Guest: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying "Toast". Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

Room Service: "We bother?"
Guest: "No... just put the bother on the side."

Room Service: "Wad?"
Guest: "I mean butter... just put it on the side."

Room Service: "Copy?"
Guest: "Sorry?"

Room Service: "Copy...tea...mill?"
Guest: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."

Room Service: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy... rye??"
Guest: "Whatever you say"

Room Service: "Tendjewberrymud"
Guest: "You're welcome"